Veritas Redux by hammergal

Rating: NC17
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 18/01/2007
Last Updated: 18/01/2007
Status: Completed

Repost of an old story of mine. Post HBP but no R/Hr or H/G. Viktor helps Hermione realize a
truth she's been avoiding.




1. Veritas Redux
----------------

Disclaimer: Characters not mine, belong to JKRowling, just playing with them.




Summary:Reposting old story of mine. Post HBP but no R/Hr or H/G storyline, Hermione has been
seeing Viktor off and on since 4th year but Viktor knows who Hermione truly loves.




**VERITAS REDUX**







“*Merlin, why don't you just let yourself enjoy it?”* Hermione thought yet again as
Viktor's lips pressed against hers. His strong arms pulled her close to him and she felt
herself tense in spite of herself.




“Hermione,” Viktor murmured against her mouth, “my beautiful girl...”




He deepened the kiss, trying to get her to open her lips against his. Hermione closed her eyes
and tried again to lose herself in Viktor's arms. But the same thought crept into her mind once
again....*he's not Harry.*




She whimpered softly as Viktor's tongue sought hers, he pressed her back against the sofa
cushions, his hand running gently up her waist to caress her breast. Hermione allowed him to feel
her through her shirt but as his fingers began to seek the buttons, her heart began to pound and
she pulled her mouth off of his. Viktor immediately began to kiss her neck, trying to unbutton her
shirt as he pressed his body even closer, urging her to lie down beneath him.




She couldn't do it.




She pressed her hands against his chest. “Viktor, no, please, I can't.” she said, her voice
breathless.




He stopped right away and his brow furrowed as his hard, dark eyes sought hers.




“Hermione, what is it?” he said in his rough accent, “you do not like what I do to you?”




Hermione stared back at him. She didn't want to hurt him, she cared for him deeply but she
just couldn't make herself give in to his lovemaking. He was always gentle with her but that
wasn't it. His lips weren't the lips she wanted against hers, his hands not the hands she
wanted caressing her breasts. She didn't want those dark eyes staring into hers, she wanted a
certain pair of green ones. That she suddenly realized this nearly took her breath away.




She wasn't quite sure why at this moment she would feel this way. Maybe it was because for
the first time there was real possibility that a man intended to make love to her. The realization
that she wanted it to be Harry was...unbelievable. The rational side of her brain was suddenly
working overtime. *Are you serious? Harry? Your best friend, the boy you've known since you
were eleven? The boy who has become a man with a destiny that frightens you so much you sometimes
feel like you can't breathe?*




*Then why won't you let Viktor make love to you?*




The last two years flashed in her mind as she remembered the times she and Viktor had spent
together. In reality they had not had much time together, days, sometimes a week spent during the
summers. Exploring old Bulgarian cities, a tour of London, a summer holiday in Scotland, the
occasional picnic by a scenic lake, even a Quidditch match or two. It was all very platonic at
first, Viktor ever the gentleman, until last year when he had begun to steal kisses. She didn't
mind really, his kisses were sweet and he made her feel very special and loved. When she was with
him, she could forget. Almost. She didn't have to think about losing Harry. Didn't have to
think of him joined in battle with Voldemort, fighting for his life and the future of their world.
But their times together were brief and did little to quench her fear over Harry. But she allowed
Viktor to continue to plan their times together and they wrote each other letters back and forth
and it was all so...comforting.




But lately, Viktor had begun to show signs of wanting their relationship to go forward. She
tried to tell him about the events of the past school year but other than Dumbledore's death,
she wasn't able to explain everything to him. He couldn't understand why it was necessary
for her to go with Harry on a quest of which he knew little about. How could she explain to him
that her world was falling apart? That she had to follow her best friend on a mission that might
take his life? That the very thought of losing him made her heart twist with pain?




She couldn't explain. So she tried to distract him when he would kiss her a bit too deeply,
when his hands wandered where she didn't quite want them. She looked away when he would gaze at
her with a look that was more than just friendly. But it was getting harder and harder to distract
him. She knew the time had come when she could no longer continue to be unfair to him. Because it
wasn't right to make him think they had a future together when she knew that could never be.
Not as long as Harry needed her.




“Viktor,” she said softly, “It's not that I don't like it, I do, it's just...well,
it's hard to explain what I'm feeling right now.”




Viktor looked at her hard again and suddenly stood up, walking over by the fireplace. He stared
into the flames for a moment before speaking.




“I think, Hermione, that you do not wish to be honest with me. I think you know what is the
problem. You just cannot say it to me.” he said quietly.




“What do you mean?” Hermione said swallowing hard, she could feel her face flushing with his
words.




Viktor turned around to face her. “I mean, when are you going to tell him that you are in love
with him?” he said.




Hermione's breath quickened and she felt her heart begin to race again. How could he know?
Oh God, was she that obvious?




“Viktor,” she stammered, “I-I don't know what you are talking about.”




Viktor turned around quickly, his hands fisting. “You must face this, Hermione!” he said
angrily, his voice rising. “I cannot go on having you pretend that you love me!”




“Pretend? Viktor, I have never lied to you!” Hermione said, “I'm not seeing anyone
else!”




“No, you think you are not! But you will not face the truth. You will not admit that you cannot
love me. Not when you are in love with him!” he said.




“Viktor, please,” Hermione pleaded, “what are you talking about? Why do you think I'm in
love with someone else?”




“Because ever since I have known you, I have seen. The way you touch him, the way you look at
him, the way you worry for him. He consumes you, Hermione. No other man can compete with him for
your love. I have realized that, finally. I have admitted that truth. Now, I need for you to do
that.” Viktor said.




He walked over to the sofa again and sat down next to her. He reached up to smooth one of her
curls and then stroked her cheek.




“Hermione,” he said, “I love you. I do. I want you for myself but I want you to love me, too.
But I do not think that you can do this. I wish that there was a place in your heart for me but I
think it is too full for me. Too full of Harry Potter.”




Hermione looked away, her face flaming. She knew he had spoken the truth but she just
couldn't face him.




“Viktor,” she whispered, “he's my best friend. We've just always been...friends.
He's not in love with me.”




He reached over to turn her to face him, his hand cupping her chin.




“Hermione, look at me,” he said, “I have heard this story from you and from Harry for over 3
years now. We have been seeing each other for 2 years now and still you cannot let me love you. I
feel how you tense when I hold you, I feel how you do not let yourself go when I kiss you. I know
you care for me, but you do not feel for me what you feel for Harry. You love him. And I believe he
loves you, too. I see the way he looks at you, the way he touches you, how he protects you. He,
too, cannot make himself say what he wants to say to you. You both are fooling yourselves, thinking
that you are only friends.”




Hermione's eyes shone with tears as she realized the truth of Viktor's words. She hugged
him and pressed her ear to his chest, hearing the thump of his heart. She didn't really want it
to be over between them but she knew she could never love him the way she loved Harry. It
wasn't fair to keep him hanging on with a false hope that she ever could.




“Viktor,” she said softly, “I don't want to hurt you. You have been so good to me these
years. You've helped me so much and you've made me feel special. But you deserve a woman
who loves you truly. You are worth loving and I'm sorry I can't be the one who loves you. I
really am.”




“I know, Hermione,” he said, “I know. I wish you could be the one, too. You mean everything to
me and I wish I could fight for you. But I know I would not win. I saw even back 3 years ago how
much you feel for Harry. I have just been trying to hope that it would go away. But it just gets
stronger.”




“But Viktor, I don't know if Harry loves me that way.” Hermione said, the tears coming
heavier. She clutched at him and choked back a sob.




“Hermione, he does.” Viktor said soothingly, “He just doesn't realize the truth anymore than
you did.”




“But he has so much to deal with,” Hermione said shakingly, “V-Voldemort is still out there,
there's so much to worry about, we haven't got much time...”




“Hermione, I may not quite understand about this quest you must make but I know Harry is
determined and he knows he has to face the destiny he has. But you are his destiny, too. He needs
you, badly.” Victor said.




He paused and looked at her sadly, saying in a low voice, “I need you, too, but I can't have
you, I know that now.”




Hermione lifted her head and wiped her tears. She reached up to cup his cheek with her hand, her
gesture tender.




“Oh, Viktor,” Hermione said, “You have meant so much to me but I know that in many ways I
haven't been fair to you. I guess I can't face the thought of loving Harry and losing him.
But I can't deny it anymore. Because I love him more than life. I will do anything to help him
and I will believe with all my heart that he can defeat Voldemort. He has to...because I know I
can't survive without him.”




The silence between them was absolute. The fire crackled in the hearth, Viktor sighed softly and
leaned down to brush her lips with his.




“So you finally speak the truth,” he said in a low voice.




“I'm sorry,” Hermione whispered.




“No, there is no need for regret,” Viktor said, smiling sadly, “it was I who started this. I,
who forced you to tell me that truth. I wanted to go on pretending that you could love me like
that, but I know now that it is impossible. And what I truly want is for you to be happy, Hermione.
But I could never make you completely happy, not like he can.”




“You did give me happiness, Viktor,” Hermione said gently, “Please believe me when I say that.
I-I just can't give you my heart.”




“No,” Viktor said, “ not when it belongs to Harry.”




Hermione smiled and leaned up to kiss him one last time. Viktor stood and took her hands in
his.




“I think now I should take you home. To him, where you belong.” he said.




They walked in silence up to the door at 12 Grimmauld Place. The darkness surrounded them as
they stood at the door, both unwilling to have the moment end yet knowing it must. Viktor suddenly
pulled her close and crushed his mouth to hers, kissing her with all of his passion. Just as
suddenly he tore his mouth away, pushing her away from him.




“Goodbye, my Hermione,” he said in his familiar rough voice, “I will love you always. Go, be
happy now. Go to him.”




Hermione's eyes glistened with tears as she watched him walk away. She pressed her hand to
her mouth, holding back a sob. She knew it needed to be like this but it still hurt. She had to be
fair to Viktor. But she was afraid. Still afraid that no matter how much she loved Harry, he
wouldn't be able or willing to return her love. She turned to open the heavy front door. She
had to be brave, to be strong. She closed the door behind her, standing in the dark foyer,
trembling. There were no lights, just the flickering of the flames from the fireplace in the front
room. She hung her coat up and walked softly in the room. The high backs of the armchairs that sat
by the fireplace obscured anyone sitting in them, she didn't know if Harry was awake or not.
Her heart was pounding and she stood there, quiet and still.




Harry's voice broke the silence.




“You're home late, I was starting to worry,” he said quietly, his voice sounding oddly
strained.




Hermione swallowed and tried to keep her voice steady. “Well, you knew I was with Viktor. You
knew I'd be all right.”




Harry didn't answer, just grunted quietly.




Hermione walked up behind the chair and leaned over to ruffle his hair. “So you were waiting up
for me, like my big brother?”




“No, I just felt like reading,” Harry said, his voice still sounding odd, “ and I'm not your
brother.”




“I know,” she said, “I was only joking. I didn't mean to worry you. We just ended up having
a bit of a talk, Viktor and I.”




She walked around to sit down in the chair next to his, pulling her legs underneath her. She
carefully avoided looking at him just yet. She could feel him looking at her.




“Hermione, are you okay?” he asked, “What did you two have to talk about? I thought you guys
didn't talk much? You know, he's more of a physical being? The big git.”




Hermione felt her insides twist a little. Was Harry sounding a bit jealous? When did he suddenly
become jealous of Viktor? Had she missed something? Or was he joking? She tried to laugh a little
but it didn't come out very well. She suddenly felt like crying again.




Harry stood up and walked over to her. She bent her head down, wiping quickly at the tears that
were coming again. Harry cupped her chin with his hand and lifted her face. His eyes narrowed as he
stared at her face.




“Hermione,” he said, “have you been crying?” He knelt down in front of her, his hands on either
side of her face, searching her eyes.


“Did he hurt you?” he said, his voice deepening, “Hermione, did he hurt you? I'll curse him to
within an inch of his life if he hurt you....”




“No, no,” Hermione said quickly, “of course he didn't, Harry. We just...had a talk. A long
overdue talk. We...we ended things. It's over between us. Over.”




She ducked her head, hiding her tears from Harry. But he was having none of it. He pulled her
into his arms, pressing her head against his chest. The dam broke and she wrapped her arms around
him as her sobs echoed around the room. Harry held her tightly, letting her cry. Hermione felt her
knees giving way from all the emotion and Harry quickly picked her up in his arms and carried her
over to the couch. He sat down, holding her like a baby, while she cried. He didn't say a word,
just held her until her tears began to subside.




Neither spoke for several minutes. The fire crackled and popped, the clock ticked, then
Harry's voice broke the silence again.




“Did you love him that much?” he said in almost a whisper.




Hermione looked up at him quickly, her heart beginning to race again. Was that fear in his
voice? Was it possible that he was afraid she was in love with Viktor?




Her voice was shaking as she spoke, “Harry, no, that was the problem, I was never in love with
him. And he knew that. He made me face a truth tonight that I've been avoiding for quite some
time now. I knew I had to face it when I couldn't let him make love to me.”




Harry's arms tightened around her suddenly. His voice sounded cold and distant. “He wanted
to make love to you? Did he try to force you?”




Hermione was stunned, there was definitely something wrong here. Harry had never been this
concerned over her relationship with Viktor. He had always seemed supportive of it. What was going
on?




“N-no, Harry, of course he didn't. I mean, he wanted to, but I just couldn't. As much as
I liked Viktor, I just couldn't give myself to a man I didn't love. Especially when I
realized I was in love with someone else.” she said, her voice breaking.




She stared into his eyes, trying to get him to read her mind. She just didn't know how to
say it. The fear was overwhelming. How could she bear it if he didn't love her the way she
loved him?




Harry watched her expression with a puzzled look. She was in love with someone else? The thought
made him feel like he couldn't breathe all of a sudden. He stared down at her and what he saw
in her eyes made his head swim. What was it he was seeing? Was that someone else...*him?* She
couldn't love him...she couldn't. She was too smart, too beautiful...what was she thinking?
Not when he had this horrible destiny in front of him. No, he wouldn't let her...he had to keep
her safe...




But her eyes...her eyes. They were telling him all that he needed to know. He couldn't help
himself, he didn't even realize he was speaking out loud.




“You mean everything to me, do you know that?” he whispered.




“Do I, Harry?” Hermione said, “do I really?”




“Hermione, you're my best friend. You've always been, you and Ron.” Harry said.




“Yes, that's it, isn't it? We're friends, aren't we?” Hermione said. She leaned
in closer to him, her eyes straying to his lips, wanting to kiss him so badly.




Harry watched her face as she drew closer to him, she was flushed, her eyes still shining with
tears, her lips trembling. She looked so beautiful, he suddenly wanted to kiss her. She was so
close to him, he could feel her breath on his cheek.




“We're friends, aren't we, Harry,” she whispered again, “you're my best
friend...always.”




“Yes,” Harry breathed, “always...”




He suddenly felt like the room had gotten considerably hotter, she felt so warm in his arms, her
face inches from his, her mouth open slightly, her lips looking so soft. He couldn't stop
himself, he covered her mouth with his, tasting her sweetness. He thought his head would explode.
The sensations bombarded him as kissed her deeply, his tongue searching for hers. She moaned
against his mouth as the kiss became desperate, as if they wanted this forever. Harry pushed her
back into the soft cushions, their mouths never leaving each others', hands reaching under
clothing, desperate to touch skin.




Hermione couldn't believe how much she wanted this, how right it felt with Harry. She knew
she would never want another man touching her like this, kissing her like this. He was all she
wanted and more.




Harry couldn't believe he was kissing Hermione like this. What had just happened? One minute
he was comforting his best friend and now all he wanted to do was take her breath away. She felt so
right underneath him, like she was made to fit him. She was so soft, so perfect. She tasted like
perfection. He couldn't get enough of her sweet mouth, his hands began searching to touch her
soft skin under her shirt.




Hermione pulled on his jumper, trying to pull it over his head. Their mouths broke apart for a
moment as their shirts came off. Hermione pressed her hands against his hard chest, Harry reached
under to unclasp her bra, slipping it off her shoulders. He stared at her breasts, marveling at how
perfect they looked. He suddenly wanted to taste them as well. Hermione put her hand at the back of
his head and pushed his head towards her breasts.




“Kiss me, Harry,” she whispered, “I want to feel your mouth on me.”




Harry needed no more encouragement, he eagerly swirled his tongue around her nipples, taking her
breast into his mouth. Sweet Merlin, she tasted good! He still couldn't believe this was
happening. Was he really making love to Hermione? She was wanting him to?




No, no, he had to stop this. She couldn't love him. She wouldn't be safe...




He pushed up with his arms, flinging himself away from her. He cradled his head in his arms,
trying to slow his breathing. Hermione sat up wrapping her arms around him. He tried to pull away
but she wouldn't let him.

“Harry, don't pull away from me,” she said, her voice rising, “I won't let you. I'm not
afraid anymore. I don't care what happens, our future will be what we make it. All I know is I
love you. Do you hear me, Harry Potter? I love you. I think I always have. I will stand by you till
the end. That's *my* destiny, okay? You're going to let me love you, Harry. Because I
have to or I won't survive. Did you hear me? I won't survive. I want your love, no matter
how much time we have or don't have. I love you, Harry!”




She pulled his face up to hers and crushed his lips with hers. Harry moaned as her mouth opened
under his and her tongue sought his. He couldn't help himself. He knew he was lost. He loved
her. He loved this woman with all of his being. He was suddenly that lost little boy in the
hand-me-down clothes on his way to Wizarding school, staring at the bushy-haired little girl who
had stormed into his life and taken control. Yes, she had the control. She had everything, his
body, his soul, his heart.




He pushed her down into the cushions again and lost himself in her. His mouth closed over her
naked breasts again and he ground his hips against hers, trying to get closer. He knew he had to
have her. It didn't matter that he had never done this before, he seemed to know instinctively
what to do because it was her. He just wanted to be joined with her.




Hermione moaned as he suckled her breasts. She needed more. Now. It didn't matter that this
was the first time. It was Harry, it was right. She wasn't afraid of the pain, all she knew was
she wanted him inside her. She wanted to be filled by him, only him.




She reached down to unzip his pants, pushing them down over his hips. He followed her lead and
slipped her pants down, taking her panties with them. He reached between her legs, searching with
his fingers, finding her warm wetness. She reached down to wrap her hand around his hardness,
guiding it to her. Harry groaned as he felt the first touch of her wet heat against his penis. It
felt incredible and it was all he could do not to push into her as hard as he could. He pressed
forward gently, Hermione opened her legs wider and her hand continued to guide him in. He pushed
harder, feeling her surround him, opening to him. God, he was going to die, he just knew he was.
Nothing could feel this good. He felt her tightness give way as he pushed in more and Hermione
gasped, grabbing his arms with her hands. She bit her lip and her eyes squeezed shut for a
moment.




“Are you all right?” Harry whispered, trying not to plunge into her although every muscle was
urging him to do so.




“Yes, I'm okay,” she said, breathlessly, “just go ahead, it'll be all right.”




Hermione gasped again as he filled her. He pulled back and slid in again, this time a bit
harder. She felt her inner muscles relaxing and the pain was replaced by pleasure. It felt so
wonderful as he filled her again and again. She wrapped her legs around his hips, her hands on his
buttocks, pushing him into her harder. They kissed and kissed as their bodies became as one,
Hermione pushing up against him as Harry thrust into her as deep as he could. They both began to
pant as their climaxes approached. Harry buried his face into her neck as he held her tightly, his
thrusts becoming frantic. Hermione screamed as she felt the intense waves of orgasm overtake her,
she had never imagined it could feel like this. Harry cried out as his own orgasm hit him, his warm
seed spilling into her, the waves lifting him again and again....




He collapsed against her, his body shaking. Hermione held him tightly as she lowered her
trembling legs. They couldn't speak, couldn't move.

As the aftershocks began to fade, Harry lifted his head to gaze down into Hermione's eyes.
She held his gaze with hers, willing him to see the love she had for him in her eyes. He leaned
down to kiss her softly.




“You'll always be my friend, Hermione,” he said softly, “but I need for you to know
something else. I wouldn't make love to just a friend. You are more than that to me. I love
you, Hermione. I always have.”




“Oh, Harry,” Hermione said, “I love you, too. So much. I always knew it deep down, but I was
afraid you wouldn't feel the same. And afraid of losing you.”




“Hermione, all I know is what I have to do. I can't promise you I won't die. I can
promise you that I will do everything I can to not let that happen. I know I have to face my
destiny because it's what I've chosen to do. But I love you and I want us to have a life
together. I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. As long as I know you love me.” Harry
said, holding her close.




Hermione hugged him tightly, feeling his heart beating against hers. She couldn't believe
that all she hoped for was coming true. Harry loved her. As much as she loved him. And she suddenly
knew that that was all that mattered. She couldn't worry about losing him. He wanted to live
for her, he would try as hard as he could to survive. And she would be there for him. Always by his
side.




They lay in each other's arms, their eyes telling each other all the truth they ever needed
to know.











